How to fill up a car with petrol (yes, really)
I'm sorry, but no one ever told me how to fill up my car at a petrol station. They also never told me how to put on my hazard lights, how to bay park forwards and how to overtake a tractor towing a vintage car.
Once you pass your test, you're suddenly chucked into a deep sea of learning. You have to doggy paddle for your life until you reach the other side and finally feel like a real driver. It can be scary.
One of my biggest fears was filling up my car with petrol. So many things: which side do I need to go on, how do I take my petrol cap off, where do I put my petrol cap while it's off, which colour nozzle, how do I get the thing off the thing, how does the man know how much petrol I've used? ARGH.
So I'm going to help you out. You might feel silly asking someone else, so here it is on the internet for you to read in secret as you park just down the street from Esso to watch what other people do.
Look for your fuel cap BEFORE YOU GO
It will be on your car's hind quarters, over either the left or right back wheel. Remember which side it is because you're going to need to choose a pump to match up with it.
Take a moment to try opening it too - it might be with your key, it could be a lever inside your car or you might just need to press on the panel covering it. Don't do this for the first time on the petrol station forecourt. You will be beeped if you set up camp there.
Tip: you know on your dashboard where you can see your fuel gauge? It will very likely have a little pump icon next to it with an arrow pointing to the side your fuel cap is on.
Turn into the petrol station
As you drive into the petrol station, go very slow. It's not unlikely that you'll have to wait for people to move so you can go to the pump that matches the side your petrol cap is on.
Pull up next to the pump, about half a metre out and with the nose of your car lining up with the end of the pump. The pump's hose is quite long but making sure you're far forward enough means you won't have to stretch awkwardly.
Handbrake on, gear into neutral, engine off.
Take off your fuel cap
Get out of the car, taking your keys and money with you, and shut the door. Go round the pump side of your car to your fuel cap.
If you need your key to unlock it, just put it in and twist to the left. It should come off easily, and you can put it somewhere safe like on the raised edge of the pump.
If you don't need a key, you'll usually just flip the panel open like a little door. Then you'll see the actual fuel cap, which you either twist open or pop up like your windscreen fluid cap.
Choose your fuel
However many times you've filled up your car, always take a second to really, deeply think about the fuel you're about to put in your car. The wrong fuel can play absolute havoc with your engine and cost you a packet.
Diesel is usually black, petrol is usually green but will be labelled unleaded. Many petrol stations will also offer premium versions of the fuel you want, which are more expensive but wouldn't hurt your car if you put them in accidentally.
[OPTIONAL STEP] Put your card in the chip and pin
If the pump has a card machine, you don't have to go into the petrol station to pay. No humans. Lovely.
Put your card in the card slot and enter your pin when it asks. You can then take out your card and the pump will know to charge you for the fuel you use. Smart.
Put the nozzle in your fuel hole (is that its name?)
Grab the handle and lift upwards, then outwards. This will unhook the nozzle from the pump. Move to your fuel hole (?!) and put in the nozzle. Some leftover fuel might dribble out while you're on the move but it's nothing to worry about - your fuel won't start coming out until you squeeze the handle.
Fill 'er up
Once the nozzle is in the hole firmly, squeeze the handle. Fuel will start coming out and the pump will make a ngggggggggggggggggggg noise.
Keep an eye on the pump's screen, which will tell you how much you're putting in and how much it will cost. If you get to the amount you want, stop squeezing. If you want to fill the tank, just keep squeezing until you hear a THUNK. This means your tank is full and you can stop.
Take out the nozzle
Slowly pull out the nozzle and give it a little jiggle to get any excess fuel out and into your tank. Hey - every little helps, right?
Return the nozzle to the pump
The long bit of the nozzle goes in and up, then the handle slots down into the cradle-y thing. Clear? Good.
Put your fuel cap back on
Very important - do not leave your fuel cap. Make sure it's firmly screwed back on and the covering panel is shut if you have one.
If you do need a key for your fuel cap you're much less likely to forget it - your keys will still be attached and you won't be able to drive away without them, however hard you try.
[OPTIONAL STEP] Go and pay
If you've already put your card in the pump machine, you can go now. It always feels a bit like stealing to me because it's so magic but I promise: off you go.
If you're at a petrol station that's not joined the 21st century yet or you're paying with cash, lock your car and check what number your pump is.
Ladies, if you keep your handbag on your passenger seat, don't sweep it off super fast as you go to pay. Fabric on fabric = static electricity. You could start a fire and yes, that has really happened.
Cross the forecourt carefully and go in to the cash desk. When it's your turn, say "Pump number 5 please" (but only if you were at pump number 5 - don't say this if you were at pump number 4). You will then be asked for money, because that's how commerce works.
On this note: always check you have the money before you fill up. I actually keep a credit card in my car that is solely for petrol, nothing else. I pay it off every month so I can deal with all my travel costs at once. And I get Clubcard points on fuel because it's a Tesco card. 🙂
Leave the petrol station
Get back in your car and start your engine. Check carefully all around for pedestrians and other cars, then pull away very slowly.